How many days in the past several months have you gotten to the end of it and realized you did essentially… nothing?
For me, I cringe to think how many there’s been.
There have been the days I had an argument with a friend/family member and couldn’t find the strength to do anything else that day. There have been the days I opened my eyes in the morning only to realize I’m still alive, and found my way back to sleep. There have been the days I saw no future for myself and decided that any efforts I could expend to do something that day were inconsequential anyway. So why bother doing anything else but lay in the comfort of my bed.
I guess I’m just writing this to myself to remind me that when I play into that mindset, I’m doing my future self – the one that feels slightly more capable and motivated to get life on track (yes, things ebb and flow and you’re not always struck down by depression to the same degree) – a huge disservice. I’m setting myself up for failure because when I snap out of it, I realize I have nothing much to show for the last months I spent in a haze.
Just get out of bed. Brush your teeth, comb your hair, pick a task no matter how menial and make yourself do it. Eventually you’ll get all the little to-do’s off your list, and with those knocked down you’ll have a slightly-less-burdened mental capacity to chip away at the medium to-do’s. Keep at it. That’s progress. Sometimes that’s all you need to feel when you’re battling crippling depression and anxiety to realize that you’re not as incapable as your toxic thoughts are telling you.