It has always been the intent of this blog to get into the nitty gritty of what I’ve dealt with health-wise over the past three and a half years (everything went downhill September 2014 when I first had a flu-like illness), but I find myself skirting around writing those types of posts.
The posts that have made it onto the blog so far are the easy ones: the ones where inspiration hits and I can write something based off of a situation I recently encountered. The content is fresh in my memory and I don’t have to reach very far to pull out reflections or insights. While I question the value they provide to others, they’re at least of benefit to me because they’re cathartic to publish.
On the other hand, there’s a TON to unpack in my medical history.
- The mysterious illness that started it all.
- The extreme fatigue and memory lapses.
- The effect it had on my university career (and the fun of dropping out, twice, from a professional undergraduate program).
- The (false) diagnosis with bipolar disorder.
- The 25 lb unexplained weight gain on my otherwise slim body.
- The visits to Plattsburgh, New York and Mountain View, California to see two eminent specialists in tickborne illness and complex chronic illness, respectively.
- The thousands of dollars spent on some pretty cool testing largely unavailable in Canada.
Those are some sound bites that give you a glimpse into what I’ve experienced. It’s not as bad as some have gone through (not by any stretch); but I think of all those hours I’ve spent scouring the internet searching for medical answers, and how often the most helpful things were not written by faceless medical organizations but rather they were the firsthand accounts written by people like you and me.
So, here I am, wanting to catalogue what’s happened to me in an attempt to make things a little less hazy for the next person to follow this trail.
The thing is, I just don’t know where to start. The organizational side of me thinks it would be best to start from the beginning and publish things neatly and chronologically. The realistic side of me knows that that’s going to take forever, make me less excited about blogging, and restrict my freedom to write about anything present-day as it comes up. And because I haven’t committed either way, I’ve been treading on the surface of what’s happened to me rather than digging down into more meaty topics.
How have you dealt with approaching your blog? I’d be happy to hear what you guys think about the matter, so let me know in the comments below. As I type this out right now, I think to how I’ve fallen off the blogging bandwagon in the past, and how the last thing I want is for this project to die off.
I think it comes down to the following conclusions (subject to revision):
- I must create content. But trying to balance that with how to then organize it is holding me back from writing about meatier subjects (I’ve been sticking to the “easy” posts).
- I must make blogging a habit. It should become a more natural part of my week that it is right now.
Am I right? I think so? I’m having a hard time right now arguing that anything else is more important than those two conclusions (within the context of this blog). Then, once a library of content exists and I have the habit down, I can always go back and rewrite and/or reorganize parts later in order to increase the value of the information provided.
Apologies in advance if the posts over the coming months seem to jump all over the place. I’ll do my best, however, to shape things so that they come together as a coherent narrative, once all is said and done. Thanks for everyone who has stayed with me on this journey so far!