Each month usually has a general direction or theme that I can speak to; not so much April, however. It’s been a month of everything: healing, setback, haze, peace, struggle, stress, and growth. I’m not making a beeline from A to B, that’s for sure.
Despite the detours and the weird place I find myself today, I do have faith that I’m slowly making it through to where I want to be.
The plane lifts. Like many traveling for the first time since the pandemic began, anxious feelings churn beneath my calm exterior.
Is it safe to fly? Will I regret this later?
All things considered, I reaaaaaally don’t have much to complain about.
That’s one major advantage of coming out the other side of a major medical issue as a young adult: recover, and the magnitude of most life issues dramatically diminishes compared to how you might have perceived the same life issues had you never gotten sick at all.
Have you ever tried to compress ~10 months of life into a single month’s worth of time?
Things uh, get a little chaotic 😅
I can hardly fathom what a difference a month can make.
The cognitively debilitated, anxious girl who wrote December’s monthly resilience report is closing January feeling like a markedly different person. Thanks to some milestone moments that included receiving plasmapheresis, IV steroids, and tocilizumab (Actemra)…
I started these reports thinking that they’d be a low pressure, fun way to document progress. That by the end of 2020, they’d help me warmly reflect on how far I’ve come from my spring AE relapse.
But the scary thing is that we’ve now arrived at the last day of the year, and the so-called “recovery” remains an elusive, faraway dream. I’m well aware that there are no guarantees when it comes to how well one recovers from AE; still, I had one promising, personal data point to draw from. I weighted that one highest.
